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TaoShaman

Really!Why?
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I've been playing tabletop roleplaying games with a group of people for a while. I joined because I used to play with one of them as part of this group and he invited me to join his friends. We play different games and they're fun, we play board games sometimes too. But about half of the group makes it so hard sometimes and frankly ruin it causing it to stop being fun anymore. They play the same types of characters every time and it's always really violent ones that solve every problem by shooting anyone that doesn't agree with them and one of them keep attacking other players (for fun? or just to be a sick jerk?). A new person that knows both of them recently joined and he's just as bad. He always makes characters that are just characters from tv shows or video games and tends to attack first and that's most of it. It's especially bad if we're playing characters who are supposed to be bad. You can play an evil character without needing to do uneeded, just disgusting and morally reprehensible things. If even the game master seems to think you might need to tone it down, you're going too far. And they seem to just be able to do these horrible, disgusting things with such glee. It's kinda unsettling. It's also very uncomfortable when, I don't want to bring these types of things into it, but I'm part of a couple minority groups and these actions sometimes have racial or gender based undertones. And the things they say about people with different sexualities or gender identities, aren't enough for me to really call them out, but enough to be very uncomfortable. Why get upset that a character sheet has a place for pronouns? It's useful if someone plays a character that isn't the same gender as them, no matter what that is. It's just practical. It also makes it uncomfortable to play a female character period because if my character looks nice, one of them is going to make it a weird sex thing and imply my character is a sex worker/does drugs or do that to other characters purely because they're a female character who dresses in more revealing clothing or even just goth. They even made fun of one game I brought, that they ended up liking, because it has a way to end conversations if they go into topics that you don't want to discuss, like drugs, self harm, other very realistic things that people might want to avoid talking about. They have no idea what other people have dealt with or are. Some of the others are nice and clearly can see when the others are going too far, so they make it bearable. But it just gets so annoying how they seem incapable of comprehending that not everyone is like them and they might not be comfortable having these horrible things in what is supposed to be a fun game, especially when it doesn't even add anything to the game it's just to be a horrible human being. And I could never tell them I'm uncomfortable with it because I know they just would never care. They only care about themselves and people just like them.


I just needed to vent. It gets so annoying how this happens with pretty much every tabletop game and can be a gamble with board games. I need to find a tabletop game with no combat. Maybe that will finally be fun and get them to calm down. Just once.

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I've been thinking of writing a script for fun or something. So this is just a list of ideas.


-Deconstruction of a romantic comedy

explanation: from the point of view of the initial partner of who would normally be the main character that always get left and usually cheated on so the "lead" can be with their "true love" meaning a complete stranger they don't even know. Maybe a horror? or thriller? Maybe look at Audition for inspiration?


-Deconstruction of the whole uncool character changes to impress popular character and popular character gets upset

explanation: Uncool character(UC) wants to be noticed by popular character(PC), UC changes and gets noticed by PC and other characters too, PC gets all upset and says they liked UC better before, UC points out that PC never noticed them until they changed and that PC is just mad that other characters notice them too so now they don't have to pine over PC (I always thought that was a weird thing that a character changing is treated as a bad thing when their change techinically works)

Maybe Uncool Character is not uncool for being a "nerd", but some other subculture (ex. Goth?, Gamer?

Uncool character changes not by becoming mean, but by being more confident, slightly different clothes, better posture, keeps unusual interests, Popular characters aren't stereotypical bully characters (that doesn't even make much sense?)


-Horror Romance? Lead ends up with the slasher/villain? I don't know


-Supernatural detective with human? partner

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I had to leave work early a few days ago because I started feeling sick and I had to cancel coming in the next day. I got called in to come in tonight and right after we start someone accidentally rolls a cart over my ankle. It was super painful and my supervisor had to help me get up and sit down. I had to leave early because I can barely walk. At least it doesn't seem broken. The guy who did it seemed to feel really bad. It's mostly just really sore and now I won't be able to go in tomorrow. It's not swollen, but there's no way I'll be able to walk around much tomorrow. My supervisor was nice about it. It was an accident and not my fault. Security was really nice too and gave me some ice packs. I didn't want to bother him so I just walked over to the Lyft area. It hurt, but not so much that I needed a wheelchair. I just hope it's not broken. I doubt it though. I feel like it would hurt more if it was. I think I just twisted it. Hopefully it feels better soon. 
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I've recently gotten into tabletop games. They're really fun. There's this one I played that we didn't get very far since it takes a pretty long time to make your character and we're not sure if we'll be able to continue. I really like the character I made so I've been thinking about writing a story about her since I've been thinking about a backstory and stuff. The game is called Part-Time Gods and I really would recommend it. Your character is the God/Goddess of whatever you choose and you have to balance things with their human life. I chose Mysteries. Which seems like it could make a cool story, especially since I went with my character being a private eye. Kinda obvious, but it seems useful. I'm going to post a profile type of thing for her and her partner and see where I go from there. There's a lot of things I'm still figuring out about this possible story. Maybe I'll think about writing something about my D&D character. Probably not, but maybe.
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I've been volunteering with a haunted house all month. I'll post about it later, or maybe just add to this one.

A bunch of us just went to the other haunted house in town. I don't really know anyone there, so it was incredibly awkward. I did introduce myself to someone. I'm pretty proud of myself. A couple people kind of actually. They even let me in their group. I'm kind of afraid they regretted it though. They were nice. Just most of the things they talked about had to do with past years at the haunted house and I'm new, so I have nothing to really contribute. A bunch of people went to a bar afterwards. And I'm in a Lyft going home. It's so hard to talk to people in this group. They have their cliques and then there's me. I can't help but wonder if they only invited me in their group out of pity and needing one more. I have nobody to talk to about this either. I barely know anyone there and I don't have any close friends that would actually care. Maybe I'll try talking to one of them next time I see them. Try to be friendly. The role I do at the haunted house doesn't help. I'm outside away from everyone. I'm near one person and I can't talk to them. I kind of regret choosing the house I'm in. The other one seems a bit more open, maybe. Mostly really.

Maybe I'm just unlikable. I'll try when we're open. I already talked to them so it should be easier, maybe. Probably not.
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